I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
