just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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