whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
