His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
