my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
