FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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