Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
