the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
