he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
