this just has baby written all over it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
