No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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