What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Randomize
