Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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