Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
