why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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