How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
