If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
