Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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