There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
