i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
