Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
