Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
