so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
