he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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