She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it glows. i had to have it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
