mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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