so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
