Taylor Swift is so right about you.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
