the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize