Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
