This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
