the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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