sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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