You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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