We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
