You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
