I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
