i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
