Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
