my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
