Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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