Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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