I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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