CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
