I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
