ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
its liver damage thursday
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
