that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
