Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
