honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
