Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
