I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
