Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
