Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The uberlube is also flammable
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
