we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The Olympian is in my bed
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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